Down

Depression exists in so many forms and is triggered by even more sources. I'm not going to go into the causes (because they are too subjective) but I am going to get you thinking about the way depression masks itself on a day-to-day basis.

Case study #1

It's Friday...and Harry is in need of a break. Work's too much, that girl in the cubicle next to him is a pain in the arse and the memories of the abusive past lover is sitting at the back of his mind like a pile of bricks. Watching McIntyre on the telly doesn't help anymore - it just reminds him of the nights spent on the sofa with the person he once loved. And talking on the phone does nothing but remind him of the girls he tried to pick up when that same lover abndoned him.

The rest of the night is spent in a haze of booze and bright neon lights and the next morning was, well, spent rolling around in bed trying to piece together last night's events in a more coherent format.

Friday night repeats itself on Saturdays night and Sunday is spent wondering whether the weekend existed at all. But at least the memories stopped flowing in for a change - at least it was a weekend of relief.

Case study #2

It's whenever...and Julie spends her nights crying. The day is dominated by the rowdy kids in the kindergarten she works in and the nights are spent allowing the memories, suppressed during the day, to flow back into her head. She can't stop crying about the memories of a lost family member but as distraught as she was, she couldn't express sadness during the day.

She works, drone-like, chasing hysterical children around the playground and mopping up the mess little Adam always makes in the kitchen. She often comes home wondering where the day had gone when  in actual fact, as far as her mind is concerned, the day never existed.

When the weekend comes about, she finds herself walking around endlessly, trying to drown the memories in a blur of long walks. She starts at 10am and gets home at 7pm. Before she knows it, it's Monday again. Time to say hello to the little darlings...no more time for memories

These are coping mechanisms in two cases. They manifest themselves to hide an underlying anguish.

I want Harry and Julie to know I am sorry. And that I wish I could do more to help.