Smash

I slept deeply again, only because I've tired myself out crying. These tears, no one knows they exist. And the pain, I channel to the people inside my head - they are the only people who want to listen to my voice.

I've lost my soul in the crowd of people. It zipped off in the midst of the busy day and only came back in the lonely hours of the night - and they bring the tears which spell regret and hurt. I wish someone would have told me how to do things and speak the words which have cracked under the surface. No one did, and I didn't speak and I lost it all and gained regret.

I replay the past over and over in my head like a broken tape recorder. And I act out scenarios which will never ever happen in real life. By midnight, I'd invented a movie in my head but that's the only place it will ever be in - my head. It doesn't exist in the real world and I can only ever wish it did.

I wish I had said more and had said better things. But I just let the random rambling stumble out of my mouth. I'm so stupid - and will forever remember that I am.