Of Literary Appreciations and Days wandering around on My Own

It didn't seem apparent to me while I was on my own how deep a grave I had dug for myself. It didn't seem real. In fact, nothing did at that point.

I watched myself in the reflection of the water of the pond

Oh distortion

Nothing was real. No. Nothing was real at all

The world was a mere shadow and my belittled mind was the only thing within my conscious range. I could see in a distance a light but I turned away from it one too many times.

Now I look back at it and ask: Why could I not have followed it?

I am in the light now but I'm searching for the shadow. Am I deranged to want to go back? Possibly. But I liked it - When you're in the shadows, you didn't have to care about the world, you didn't have to put up with the billions of stimuli from the outside world; you didn't have to feel. Oh the ecstasy of having no feeling!

I wandered around on my own and now I am surrounded by others..but yet, I still try to wander off into the shadows..alone....